


Flying Kicks and Heartbeats

by ninanna



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Crushes, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Pining Levi, Private School, Schmoop, delinquency, delinquent!eren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-14 20:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3424310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninanna/pseuds/ninanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is hard when you’re already an infamous delinquent at the age of fifteen.</p><p>Eren Jaeger does not particularly want or enjoy being a delinquent but does the fates ever ask him?</p><p>Levi, on the other hand, certainly enjoys being a prefect and making unruly brats obey his authority. He might be a bit too fond of a certain one just being unruly too, though. He might be a bit too fond of a certain one overall, actually.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from.
> 
> Or rather, I know: I love delinquents, I love awkwardly-pining ereri, and I saw the following prompt:
> 
>  
> 
> [I brought my new kitten to school hold her please while I kick this guys ass.](http://ninannarambling.tumblr.com/post/111394785873/good-kid-troublemaker-aus)

  
“Fuck, there’s a fight again?”

 

Hanji roars with laughter, fully glued to the large windows of the student council room, does not even spare a single glance at Levi.

 

“It’s the Jaeger kid again!” They chirp.

 

Levi sighs and scoots closer as well, his eyebrows drawing together as he scans the garden in their view. Amidst the five people human knot, he can barely make out Eren Jaeger’s form; he is at the bottom, the other four viciously attacking him, but he is not trying to run away at all, nor does he seem to be in resignation. He is punching with such vehemence that one would think he is facing his greatest nemesis.

 

“Four against one is not very fair…” He admits to which Hanji chuckles.

 

“True. But then he was the one who attacked them.”

 

“You got to be joking…”

 

“Nope. The dudes were just walking and I don’t know why but he just ran behind them and butterfly kicked the tall one at the back of the head.”

 

“Shit. That could be dangerous.”

 

“I know, right! But it was so cool. Reminded me the good old days, y’know…” They nudge Levi on the shoulder but he scoffs.

 

“Stupid kid.”

 

“I’m sure there’s a reason though.” Hanji starts absentmindedly but when Levi gives a suspicious side-eye, they shift their attention to their dear friend rather than the desperate wrestling match still on-going at back of the building where the student council room resides.

 

“He’s always fighting, I know, but he always fights for a reason. That first fight during the assembly? Apparently someone called his cute little blond friend a slur. Yesterday, that second year he punched in the cafeteria? I later learnt that the scumbag was actually taking creepshots of girls and then distributing them via snapchat.”

 

“The fucker. Audacity of pulling shit like that in our school?! Erwin?”

 

Erwin replies indifferently from his desk on the other side of the room, without even pausing his assiduous typing: “Mike is already on it.”

 

“Good… we don’t need such creepy sacks of shit.”

 

“Oh… he’s losing.” Hanji mumbles and Levi glances back down at the garden. Indeed, despite his vigour, Jaeger kid is simply outnumbered and outmatched—Levi recognises two of the kids as being from the football team, while a third is from tennis. Jaeger’s form is not bad but technique is still very raw and his stamina holding up till now itself was impressive enough; he is going more on fury than actual combat skill and was bound to run out of fuel.

 

“Can one of you go down and end it?” Erwin asks but it is actually a statement, both are aware. Levi is about to refuse when Hanji jumps.

 

“I’ll go! I’ve been meaning to introduce myself to him anyway. He seems like a very interesting kid.”

 

“Just another curious test subject you mean…” Levi grumbles between his teeth and Hanji unabashedly grins.

 

“C’mon… it’s not like I’m physically experimenting on them or anything. Just observing!” They exclaim as they rush out. Levi lets out a long-suffering sigh and turns his gaze to the ‘scene of crime’ once more. Eren is now lying on the ground while one of the others is kicking his legs. Another spits on the kid’s face. It is just disgraceful. Even if the suicidal bastard—as Jaeger is called, apparently a nickname given by a friend too, what kind of a friend would give such a nickname, Levi does wonder—was the one who made the first move, it is still quite shitty to attack four people on one. Worse yet to continue when the other party is clearly defeated. It is dishonourable and illogical, merely sadistic.

 

Levi crosses his arms and continues to watch and a few seconds later when Hanji enters the scene, he cannot help whispering, “Finally…”

 

Erwin snorts but when Levi glances back, he finds his old 'frenemy' and current esteemed student council president still diligently typing with a straight face.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

On the contrary to the popular belief, Eren Jaeger does not like fighting.

 

Sure, he fights a lot, but it is not because he likes it. In fact, he feels like shit about it half the time—not only because broken bones and split lips hurt like hell, because they do, but also because of the disappointment on his mother’s face, Mikasa’s frustration, and the realisation that he had once again lost himself in his fury.

 

He does not particularly feel sorry for his opponents, he would have to admit, though those few times when bystanders got involved and were injured, he felt the guiltiest he ever had.

 

The reason he fights so much despite not having a penchant for it and the reason why he is not overtly empathetic towards his enemies are one and the same: he abhors injustice.

 

He cannot stand it. Not at all. And the only times he actually gets into a fight are whenever someone is being unjust and corrupt.

 

A kid kicking a dog? A creepy man stalking a schoolgirl? A teenager ridiculing a beggar? A woman slapping her child in the bus? A schoolboy catcalling women? A teacher spewing sexist bullshit in class?

 

He will not stand it. He will not turn a blind eye to it. He will not stay silent. He will not just bear with it because “that’s the way society is”—no. Just no.

 

And yes, perhaps it has to do with his splendid anger too and his lack of control over it. He cannot contain the rage rising within him; it just explodes in a whirlwind of curses and or punches and he sometimes wishes he was not so snarky or inflammable but when people thank him for helping them or when he makes a fucker apologise for the crap they did… He feels very satisfied and elated. And it is probably wrong. No, it is definitely wrong—as his mother says. He is in the wrong but he is not sure how to fix this or how much of it he would like to fix and how much he would not. He does not want to be one of those apathetic adults but he does not want to the ‘troubled kid who hurts others’ either.

 

Life is hard when you’re already an infamous delinquent at the age of fifteen.

 

Thus, as he walks towards the school in lazy steps, which he should quicken because with this pace he will be late, he is preoccupied in navel-gazing assisted by the calm winter morning and the slow-motion falling of the snow. He almost misses the mewling coming from the wall that divides the wealthy residences from the pavement and the road. He pauses to ensure he heard right and yes, there is indeed a tiny sound crawling from somewhere there.

 

Upon closer inspection, he finds the most adorable kitten huddled in a corner of the elaborately designed wall and shivering from the cold. The sight crumbles his heart as though it was made of sand. He immediately takes the cute little thing in his hands, wrapping her with his own scarf before unzipping his coat and tucking in the poor kitten inside carefully. She wiggles and turns and blinks with her baby blue eyes.

 

And…  _oh_ , Eren is in love. Yes, he will die but leave this kitten out here. At least his mother does not have an allergy to cats and has grown used to Eren bringing up strays to their home. He continues his walk to the school gates, happily cooing to the sweet bun resting on his chest while he holds it secure with one arm below. His face and ears flush due to the chill but it is definitely worth it, especially when the kitten mewls and squirms closer. They make it to the school's entrance in peace.

 

Misfortune, however, has always loved Eren dearly and followed him to no end.

 

“Oi! Jaeger!”

 

He knows the owner of that voice very well, so he launches into a sprint towards the main building; a glance to the back informs him that he has three people chasing him. It is really bad; he could take them on, he thinks and he knows he will have to eventually, but with the poor kitten? Would they hurt her? He’s not sure but he does not want to take any chances either. A sudden right angle and he shoots off in the direction of the side building where the club rooms and the secondary cafeteria are located as well as the science labs; it’s the assembly time so the place should be empty as everyone is gathered in the main hall. He could leave the cat there quickly and then rush back to face the bastards. He has put good enough distance between himself and them when he pulls the large wooden doors and hurries inside and… crashes into someone.

 

The person he crashes into—despite their small stature now that he looks at them— is quite sturdy and only flinches at the impact whereas Eren totally loses his footing and falls on his ass. It is a bit unseemly, but he is running out of time.

 

“Are you allergic to cats?” He asks, words coming in bursts as he is out of breath.

 

“What? No?” The stranger reacts, clearly puzzled. He looks like a fellow Year 10 student and has a rather androgynous face. Eren cannot focus much though; his pursuers could come any minute. He has to go.

 

“Great!” He exclaims instead and pushes the little cat right onto his saviour’s arms. “Please take care of her for like a minute—I’ll be back!” He shouts as he runs back towards where he came from.

 

Fortunately, he meets the thuggish trio before they enter the building—while they are still in the field facing it, just a few metres away from the stone stairs that lead to its entrance.

 

“Jaeger you wanker!” One of them screams and Eren charges forward, answering the call with his infamous flying headbutt.

 

They are three but none of them has any experience with fighting, whereas Eren has been fighting every single week since primary school. It also helps that his older sister practices Judo and ‘disciplines’ him more often than either of his parents—even though they are mostly roughhousing, he has learnt some moves. Thus, at the end, sure it is excruciatingly painful and very exhaustive, but unsurprisingly he wins. By the time his last opponent is writhing on the snow-covered ground, holding his belly and groaning, Eren is smiling and standing as the victor.

 

“Not bad.”

 

The low and calm pitch of the voice baffles him and he turns his head so quickly he feels a bit dizzy.

 

There he is, the boy whom he gave his newly-acquired pet, standing in front of the stairs with the inky black ball of fur snuggled up in his arms, still wrapped in Eren’s dark green scarf. Eren scratches his head awkwardly; he does not like being caught like this, during or after a fight. It is embarrassing.

 

As the boy starts padding towards him, he moves as well, smiling sheepishly.

 

“Uh-um sorry for that. Yeah, they were chasing me so… I just didn’t want kitten to be hurt.”

 

“Kitten? She doesn’t have a name?”

 

“Not yet. I kind of… just found her, actually?”

 

“You found her?”

 

“Yeah, on my way to the school. I think she’s a stray and it’s cold and I know it’s gonna get freezing tonight so I didn’t want to leave her…” Eren trails off, as his eyes take the details of the fellow student before him.

 

Eren has never been very talented in speaking; fists work easier than words for him, self-expression is one battle he has always lost. It is especially worse when he is talking with someone pretty and this person is really pretty. Well, at least by Eren’s standards; Armin has called his peculiar partiality for shorties with stoic faces and tiny noses to be “very weird” on more than one occasion. Still, he wonders, which year is this kid from? If they are in the same year as Eren suspects, is he taking any of the sciences? Because Eren has definitely never seen him. They’d have to have English and Maths common at least, but then there are multiple sessions for both, so if this guy is—

 

“Are you done staring?”

 

His already cold-bitten pink ears turn crimson and he can only stutter for a second, unable to make any intelligible sound, mortified at being so bluntly confronted.

 

“Ah—um—yeah let me take her,” he finally decides on and moves to grab the kitten and it’s right in the middle of this act he recognises a small, golden badge adorning this unknown student’s uniform sweater. Only after he has securely embraced his pet does he take a serious look and realise what it actually is…

 

In golden, stylish letters it says: ‘Prefect’.

 

Eren swallows hard.

 

“Please—God—No—please,” he starts stammering, which the ‘prefect’ seems baffled for an instant but then following Eren’s gaze and finding the reason for it, he simply sighs.

 

“Just—look, anything but another mark. I already got marked for disobedience and misconduct twice this week and this would be third so detention but—not today. I really cannot.”

 

“You really cannot?” The guy parrots which exasperates Eren but he cannot get mad. He starts flailing with one arm, while his other arm is tightly holding his beloved kitten.

 

“I promised my best friend to go with him to the hospital. His grandpa has cancer and takes chemo and like it’s really important. I swear to God I’m not lying and if you just overlook it for today and then you can report me tomorrow and I’ll stay for detention tomorrow.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

“Yeah, just, please not today.”

 

“If you had such plans why did you get into a quarrel today of all days in the first place?”

 

The question slumps Eren’s shoulders; he starts questioning himself—indeed, was it a good idea to start a brawl? Even though it was not him who technically started it and did he have any other choice but not to respond with violence?

 

“I… didn’t want to.”

 

“I’m finding that hard to believe.”

 

“I’m serious dude!”

 

The person gives him such an icy glare that Eren swears inside he’ll never call this guy “dude” again.

 

“Okay, what did they do?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“What did they do that you guys fought?”

 

“You think it’s something that they did and not I did?” He is dumbfounded. This is the first time someone, other than his very own family and Armin who pretty much counts as family, approaches his delinquency like this.

 

“Or should I assume it was something you did? Was that the case?”

 

“No! Of course not!”

 

“So?”

 

Eren exhales loudly and brings his other arm around his cat as well, unconsciously hugging her close to himself.

 

“One of those guys has a girlfriend in my bio class and he keeps spouting all kinds of bullshit behind her back… Like, really nasty stuff y’know.”

 

“And? You decided to show him how wrong he is with your fists?”

 

“Heck no… I just told her. Because I couldn’t take it anymore, I mean he shares some intimate stuff and it’s just bad… So she dumped his sorry ass and he’s been threatening me for few days and today I come to school, bam, he and his friends were waiting for me apparently.”

 

“Hmm…”

 

“So I ran away... I mean, I don’t run away from fights if I’m right and I’m definitely right in this but I didn’t want poor kitty to be hurt so I thought I’d leave her in the secondary building and then…”

 

“Beat their asses?”

 

“Pretty much?”

 

The prefect considers him for a moment or two, but Eren is both too angry and ashamed to face him so he just looks down at his boots. The only thing that keeps him from lashing out into another fit of frustrated fury is the kitten that is wriggling and softly meowing in his embrace. He hears the prefect finally sigh and takes this as his cue to hear the verdict.

 

“Come with me.”

 

A heavy stone falls into the pit of his stomach, while his feet follow the other student back to the building they came from, he asks submissively, though he knows the response will likely be what he is thinking: “Where are we going?”

 

“To the council room.”

 

The student council room is where disciplinary records are kept and he will be marked for disruptive behaviour once more. Even after all the begging he did.

 

“Look I’m really sorry but if you just—“ he tries but his words are cut short when the prefect gives him an irritated side-eye before opening the heavy doors with the ease of a bulky rugby player and holds them for Eren.

 

“I’m not going to report you.”

 

“What?” Eren is shocked but the other does not seem to care at all and continues to his path towards the stairs inside, leading to the second floor, Eren walking quickly to match his pace.

 

“Levi.” He says a moment later and since Eren is already so bemused, he does not understand. “Huh?”

 

“Levi—it’s my name.”

 

“Okay, I’m Eren—whoa. Wait. You’re Levi?” He stops abruptly, only two steps away from reaching the second floor and ‘Levi’ turns back to look at him. It is discomforting, especially now that Levi is slightly taller, standing atop the stairs and looking down on him. There is no menace on Levi’s face though; he still looks rather calm and collected, only a tad bit confused.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Levi the Terminator?”

 

Levi rolls his eyes. “That shitty nickname again…” He grumbles as he shrugs and walks away towards their destination. Eren trails behind even though a part of his brain is screaming at him that he should just dash out, even just ignore school today, but goddamn he cannot return home, his mother is working from home today and walking around in the streets is unthinkable in this cold.

 

Levi holds the door for him and Eren realises it's the second time this happens; certainly this guy is a prefect, now that he thinks about it, all these manners plus his pristine uniform. Though he thought the school board banned students from cursing and he is 100% sure Levi just said “shitty”—does that count towards that code?

 

As soon as they are inside, Levi orders: “Sit.”

 

He is pointing towards one of the old-looking elegant sofas. Even though Eren feels quite out of place and is still clueless about what is he doing in this room if Levi is not going to note his offence, he sits on the furniture obediently. Considering this person is Levi, the notorious delinquent-turned-prefect and the source of many mysterious rumours, Eren thinks it is best to be as compliant as possible.

 

Levi walks towards a mini-counter full of plates of various snacks and an electric kettle; he flicks a button and the small light on the lid of the kettle blinks.

 

When he realises that Eren is openly gaping, Levi explains, as if it is the most sensible and obvious thing in the world: “For tea.”

 

“For tea…” Eren mumbles in repetition but no, he really does not understand what is going on.

 

“You’re really not going to report me?” He asks, because he has to at least clarify that and only receives a chuckle in return, Levi does not even look at him and seems to be busy shuffling things around in one of the lower drawers of a large mahogany desk situated closer to the middle of the room but not exactly.

 

“No, I won’t.”

 

“O-okay… So… What am I doing here exactly?”

 

“Did you feed that cat?”

 

“No? I just found her and then—“

 

“She should eat something. And your hands need bandaging.”

 

Eren then looks at his hands and it is true; there are some scrapes on his knuckles that better get wrapped up sooner than later. He is still unsure he got this right though.

 

“You brought me here… to patch me up and feed my cat?”

 

Levi loudly “tch”s which makes Eren sorry that he asked the question; is he being rude to someone who is trying to help him? It is just—he is honestly befuddled. This Levi does not seem even remotely close to the ‘Levi’ he has been hearing about.

 

“I’d have to report you if you went to the nurse’s office.”

 

The prefect unceremoniously leaves a first-aid kit on the beautifully carved wooden coffee table in front of the french sofa that Eren is sitting on. A few minutes later he is back with a plate of a few turkey slices and florets of broccoli alongside a bowl of water. He puts them down on the ground, at the edge of the carpet and then without any words grabs the kitten as gently as possible from Eren’s clutch. He lets her on the carpet and loosens the hold of scarf around her so that she can move a bit more freely. A few meows later she is sipping from the water which lends a soft smile to Levi’s face.

 

The Levi he heard was a formidable man of action, a true destroyer of rebels and arrogant pricks. It really does not fit to this picture, Eren muses to himself.

 

“Go wash your hands—there is a small bathroom behind the door.” Levi commands, still watching the kitten closely, his hand vaguely gesturing towards the other side of the room where there’s a wooden door.

 

Even though it is tiny, the bathroom is as exquisite as rest of the lounge and Eren is a bit bitter about it all; he has never liked the extravagance of their school. His own family was pretty poor when he was a child; his mother was a teenager when she gave birth to him and nobody expected his father to successful. They were very hardworking people though and his father’s genius resulting in a medical degree eventually allowed them a very comfortable life.

 

Still, Eren feels like he’s suffocating at times. The opulence of his new school is not helping. He would have preferred to go to a community school but his father insisted—the best education in the country he said, more like the most privileged education, Eren thinks.

 

When he is back he finds Levi squatting on the floor, petting the black kitten’s head and murmuring sweetly. It is truly bizarre and Eren starts doubting all the stories he heard about Levi. He rethinks this too, though, when Levi realises he is back to the room and shoots him this glare that Eren believes was not meant to be particularly murderous but is still glacial. Maybe the boy has a ‘resting bitch face’ problem. Maybe he is like one of those misunderstood, kind but angry-looking protagonists, like in that one manga Mikasa especially likes.

 

“The fuck are you gawking at? Sit.”

 

Or maybe not.

 

Eren furrows his eyebrows and stomps towards the sofa once more, plopping down impolitely but Levi does not seem to care. He stands and moves towards Eren, sitting right next to him and grabbing the first-aid kit from the table.

 

“Hands.” He barks again and Eren is conflicted whether or not he is being cared for or punished, because it is truly hard to decipher from the way Levi acts.

 

As Levi begins disinfecting the tiny cuts on his hands, Eren thinks, maybe Levi is like him. Maybe Levi is also bad with the words and good with the actions—the gentle way he touches Eren’s wounds and the tender glances he steals of the kitten confess to this idea.

 

“Why do they call you Levi the Terminator?”

 

He didn’t mean to blurt it out. His filter failed him once again. It is very rude of him even if he was curious, he knows, and if he considers everything that transpired between them so far, Levi has only been kind to him. In fact the kindest anyone has ever been to him since he started this particular school.

 

Levi sighs, like an old man, but other than that there’s no visible change on his face and his eyes are still focused on Eren’s hands.

 

“I don’t smile much… or anything else. I’m mostly expressionless.”

 

“Oh… so just that huh…”

 

“Also because in my first month here, once I beat ten people who ambushed me to the point that they all got hospitalised.”

 

“Ah…” Eren replies, because he is not sure how else he should respond to that. It is quite impressive. Somehow he thinks they must have deserved it; is feeling like this wrong? Probably. His mother consistently says that he sees things in black and white and that is not a good quality. He still—irrationally but certainly intuitively—believes Levi wouldn’t harm anyone if they didn’t deserve it.

 

“What did they do?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“What did they do that you kicked their arses so bad?”

 

Levi smirks then and Eren feels his cheeks warming up a bit too fast. The way Levi smirks though has to be illegalised, Eren thinks; it is quite beautiful in a dangerous way. Also almost mocking but not quite so. Kind of cryptic. Eren thinks he is staring too much again but he cannot bring himself to stop it. Levi nods silently before answering.

 

“Something stupid and very nasty but they got what they asked for.”

 

“Alright…” Eren says, comprehending that the topic is likely a bit too personal for Levi. He will shut up for now. He wonders if asking around would bring any fruit, but he doubts; the most he could get out of it would be only more rumours that are full of lies. Also, he would really prefer Levi to tell him. Maybe one day. Howbeit, they are not even friends. It is not very likely.

 

He is so taken at simply gazing at Levi’s face, examining his sharp yet delicate features that he does not immediately become aware that the bandaging of his hands is completed.

 

“Eren?”

 

“Huh? Ah…” He coughs awkwardly, which makes him blush darker. He hadn’t meant to ogle Levi like that. Or perhaps he did but unconsciously and not so obviously.

 

“So,” Levi wonders out loud as he puts away the first-aid kit on the coffee table again, “want some tea?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Eren.”

 

The boy who was running towards the main hall where the assembly is held comes to an abrupt halt and looks towards where they are standing. The second he recognises Levi, his lips split into a sincere grin which causes Hanji to giggle and promptly receive a wicked elbow from Levi.

 

“Come here…” He demands loudly, not yelling, because yelling in the hallways is forbidden and in any case, he does not have to, Eren is already scurrying towards them.

 

“The hell…” He mutters as pulls the navy blue necktie that is loosely dangling around Eren’s neck and the boy yelps at the sudden movement. “Didn’t I tell you to properly knot your tie?”

 

“Uh yeah, but I just cannot seem to manage it…”

 

“Didn’t you watch the youtube video I sent you the other week?”

 

“I did! I swear I did but it is so difficult…”

 

Levi shakes his head to the sides lightly, as if he cannot believe at the blasphemy he is hearing.

 

“Uh, hello Erwin… Hanji…” Eren waves with one hand while he is still slouched as Levi gingerly corrects his tie.

 

“Hello hello!” Hanji beams and wiggles their eyebrows much to Eren’s confusion while Erwin nods in acknowledgement, albeit smirking, which furthers Eren’s confusion.

 

“How’s Leila?” Levi asks, carefully veiling his curiosity. 

 

“She’s awesome. And got really cuddly these days, Levi, it’s the sweetest thing. You should see her…”

 

Levi hums appreciatively before changing the topic.

 

“Why were you rushing anyway?”

 

“Ah, that actually… Aren’t we like… late for the assembly?”

 

“There’s still ten minutes.”

 

“What?! I must have read the time wrong. Ah fuck, I could’ve slept ten more minutes…” He gasps a second later as Hanji snorts and bashfully glances at Erwin who shrugs.

 

“No worries, unfortunately I’ve grown immune to strong language thanks to Levi.”

 

“Lies…” Levi scoffs, smoothing out Eren’s necktie one final time and Eren stands up straight, “his father swears like a sailor because… well, technically he is a sailor, in a way.”

 

“He is?” Eren glances at Erwin back again and Erwin smiles reservedly.

 

“He is an admiral.”

 

“Oh…” Eren gives Levi a dirty look but the upperclassman does not seem to care at all and is instead scrutinising Eren's whole figure. “Jesus Fucking Christ…” He huffs a second later before standing on his toes to reach a hand and shallowly comb through Eren’s unruly mane.

 

“Does a comb ever touch your shitty hair?”

 

“My hair is not shitty…” Eren whines.

 

“Y—yeah well maybe it wouldn’t be so if you actually took care of it once in a while…” Levi responds after one final caress to calm the rebellious locks. Eren frowns.

 

“What?”

 

“I—I don’t look shitty…” Eren says indignantly. Oh, the pouting lips and the capricious words do weird things to Levi’s heart—very weird things that threaten to shatter his unruffled façade. He clears his throat.

 

“Not… so shitty. There are definitely worse students around. Anyway, why are you still standing here? Go.”

 

“What?! You were the one who—“

 

“And now I’m saying go. Come on. Get lost.”

 

“Jeez… I really don’t get you sometimes.” Eren shakes his head, securing his messenger bag on his shoulder and turning back towards the main hall.

 

“Oi… No running inside the school building.” Levi reminds behind him and Eren flips him off without even looking back, which garners horrified attention of a few students still in the hallway but Levi is too dazed to acknowledge them. Levi snickers, quite amused by Eren’s defiant ways.

 

“That was… disgustingly sweet.” Hanji titters and that quickly removes Levi’s cheer.

 

“Shut up.”

 

“You have a strange way of wooing, that’s for sure.” Erwin offers and Levi cannot help covering his face with his palm—it is something he does when he is angry (or embarrassed), so other students around them keep their distance upon witnessing the gesture and hurry for the assembly. Unfortunately his friends know better. Hanji starts guffawing and Erwin chuckles.

 

“Fuck you both…” He snaps and storms towards the main hall by himself. The primary reason of his rushed exit is the burning on his cheeks and neck. He is not used to this sort of emotions and he is having a hard time coping. His friends’ teasing is the cherry on top.

 

He has no idea about how he can move things forward and the constant palpitations that plague him whenever he is in close proximity of Eren are not helping either. He should be focusing on his studies, it is his last year after all, but his mind always wanders to the boy with sunshine smiles and scorching anger. Given his own inexperience and shit communication, it is very unlikely that his feelings will ever be unearthed or reciprocated. The hopelessness settles into him as rest of the students gather around him, people filling up the free spots in the many lines of students and even though he is standing in the first row of his own year, he is still lost amongst the sea of those much taller than him. At least he is right at the edge and has a stellar view of the front rows, one of which includes one very cute and restless Eren Jaeger.

 

He finds Eren very easily, as if his eyes are now attuned to locating and targeting the said teenager. Perhaps they are, considering how peers and pries at Eren on a daily basis. Eren is idly touching his hair, ostensibly trying to turn it a bit neater. He stops after a few seconds, apparently defeated by his very own hair, and then turns his head to glance around, as though he is looking for something.

 

Then, their eyes meet. For an instant, Levi is unsure what he should do; what are you supposed to do in this kind of situations? Are you supposed to smile? Are you supposed to nod? Are you supposed to wave? Uncertainty only leads him to be concentrated on such thoughts as well as Eren’s face and concentrating always leads him to glare, so in fact his answer to Eren’s curious glance is a tough glare. However, praise the Lord, Eren is fully unaffected. He only beams in response and the cursed palpitations return to Levi’s chest, hurling and churning his poor little heart in its cage.

 

A soft blush adorns Eren’s face and he half-waves with his fingers before his class monitor, some Jean guy whom Eren complains about non-stop, loudly chastises the brunet who quickly turns and utters something vulgar that Jean guy is shaking his head in a dramatic manner.

 

Levi smiles awkwardly, in a haze of happiness.

 

Maybe it’s not so hopeless.

 

 


	2. bandages on your head and soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They think Eren is a strange little monster who should be disciplined and ‘fixed’ and if not, made a mockery of; if he has any value, it is of entertainment only.
> 
> But Levi thinks Eren is beautiful."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will admit that this was not meant to be a multi-chapter; I had decided to write a few of the other delinquent prompts from the same AU list but as a series. However, after finishing the second sequel, I realised it is not that meaningful outside the prequel and thus putting them as chapters of the same fic would be more wholesome. Alas, the narrative is discrete between chapters because of this. 
> 
> The prompt for this one was:  
> "[Every time I get in a fight you patch me up but now I’m the one patching you up after your tripped on thin air.](http://toxixpumpkin.tumblr.com/post/109308642514/good-kid-troublemaker-aus)"

It starts with Eren coming to school with a split lip one morning.

 

Even though Levi has seen the sight before, it strikes him heavily— he was expecting a beaming Eren, the sole reason why he took the gate duty from Hanji. He was supposed to stick around until the start of the assembly, but instead he leaves Petra in charge and takes Eren to the nurse’s office. Nanaba does not come in until after the assembly, they have the time. He takes the said time, gently disinfects all the wounds, including the ugly swollen crack on the flush lips he feels so compelled to touch so often.

 

He would like to be able to touch Eren freely and lovingly, yet the only tactile contact between them ends up being this: Levi patching Eren up.

 

It repeats. Again and again. Eren gets into scuffles relatively less than before but does not stop it altogether either. In any case, it is too late: he has too many enemies and rivals. Sometimes, he is ambushed outside the school by students from other schools. Levi himself has spent a good chunk of his young life dealing with such animosity; once you’re a misfit, you attract the trouble. Not because you want to, but because people act on expectations and the kinds of expectations they assign you are the sour ones.

 

Eren is famous for his flying kicks. Delinquents who want to see the ‘real thing’ come flocking. Eren is famous for his righteous fury. All the rich little douchebags love taunting him to see it rise and flame. Eren is famous for resorting to his fists than words. Teachers think he is a lost cause, useless rebellious son who will never amount to anything, and thus disregard his academic efforts and are quick to blame him for anything wrong.

 

They think Eren is a strange little monster who should be disciplined and ‘fixed’ and if not, made a mockery of; if he has any value, it is of entertainment only.

 

But Levi thinks Eren is beautiful.

 

Levi thinks Eren is beautiful when he jumps for one of those flying kicks against that prick who was smug about groping a female classmate. Levi thinks Eren is beautiful when he is genuinely mad about too much food being wasted in the cafeteria or the ridiculously high-cost heating that turns winter’s chill into scorching summer inside the school buildings. Levi thinks Eren is beautiful when he is begging Armin to help him study for the maths exam, because he honestly does not want to disappoint his mum this time.

 

Levi thinks Eren is beautiful wholly; with his kicks and fists and clumsy words, swears and scars and thick eyebrows. Levi thinks Eren is beautiful—in soul and form, the most beautiful person he has ever seen.

 

So, he patches Eren up. If it is one of those hours when Nanaba won’t be in, he takes Eren to the nurse’s office where the equipment is much better, but what they are doing is essentially against the school’s policies. Eren probably does not know it; Levi does, but he does not care. It is not like anyone would dare snitch on him. When the nurse is in, he takes Eren to the student council room—sometimes though, unfortunately, the room will be overcrowded. ‘Overcrowded’ as in the sense that Erwin and or Hanji being present. Others he can deal with but those two are tenacious and the way they can so carelessly make certain remarks, drop hints that are not so subtle, Levi feels like he is not bandaging Eren’s hands but walking across a minefield instead. So sometimes, when the student council room is a no-go as well, he takes Eren up to one of the empty club rooms or labs.

 

The time after Eren headbutts the guy with the thickest skull in the whole school, it is Levi who takes him to the empty chemistry lab and holds a bag of frozen broccoli, courtesy of the old man Pixis from the kitchen, on Eren’s head. He will never forget the infuriating contrast of temperature that struck his body, as his fingers grew numb from the biting cold but his whole being was blazing hot as Eren kept whining so very close to him, their body heat mixing, and the way the unruly brunet thanked again and again, his eyes large and bright, kidnapping Levi’s breath to god knows where…

 

The time after Eren punches a window in a fit of fury and cuts his hand and arm, it is Levi who sneaks him into the nurse’s office and bandages every single laceration with great attention, physically feeling hurt every time Eren moans with pain. The blood on his hands never felt as disgusting or unsightly as it did that time and he will never forget the pair of eyes he loves so much gleaming—literally gleaming with tears. It was the most exquisitely heartbreaking sight.

 

Eren is furious and injures himself and Levi tends to him, scolds him, and wishes deeply that Eren never injures himself again yet also craves these moments of intimacy as well, selfishly. To be able to touch, to be able to bask in the proximity—he is terribly fond of these.

 

If he could only put it in words, he thinks sometimes, maybe things would change. Maybe Eren wouldn’t need to be injured for Levi to touch him then. Maybe, he could touch him in other ways too then, hug him close and soak his warmth and smell onto himself, into himself. Maybe they could kiss. Maybe they could do more.

 

The problem is, Levi has no idea how to put it into words. Sum of all his previous experiences in romance is equal to exactly zero. He has lived 18 years (17 actually, but he will be 18 this year and so he shall consider himself 18 and anyway he already feels like 38 sometimes) and he has never dated anyone. His years as a delinquent surely affected his appeal and his own awakening to matters of heart and sex had been rather slow and late too. He has never particularly minded this inexperience, but now it has become the bane of his existence. He feels inadequate and awkward. He is worried; worried that this will never happen because of it, worried that this will happen but fail because of it. Too many worries smother his tiny, fragile teenager heart and keep him awake at night as if the chronic insomnia wasn’t doing a good job of it already.

 

All in all, he is rather bleak about his prospects, but there are little moments of hope too. An affectionate gaze that Eren bestows upon him. An amusing bickering special to only the two of them. A silly secret that Eren shares only with him (about how he was the one who did the graffiti on principal’s car). They even roughhoused and not only once but twice; the highlights of Levi’s whole life so far.

 

Then… then there is also the fact that Eren is gay. At least according to the 99% of the student population and Hanji; Levi believes it mostly for the latter. Hanji has a formidable information network. It is stupid, he knows; just because they swing the same way does not mean anything about them coming together. But at least, he consoles himself, when he cannot sleep and the clock is glaring 4:31 am, it means that they are possibly potential candidates of romance for each other. For if Eren was straight, Levi would have no chance to begin with, hence he finds solace in that miniscule increase in probability.

 

And that is how and why he is utterly surprised that fine day in late March, when the weather has decided to play nice and the sun is shining and a gentle breeze is dancing and Eren Jaeger is standing in the middle of the flower garden at the back, flushed red up to the tips of his ears, clutching a pink envelope, as a young woman likely from his own year stands before him, fidgeting and mumbling.

 

Levi’s stroll—he has just come out to get some fresh air and escape from Hanji’s insistent offers to be his cupid—comes to an abrupt end at the scene before him. The two protagonists have not realised his presence yet; neither has he fully comprehended the reality of the situation he is in. It is simply too cliché to be happening but then his irritatingly old-fashioned school is prone to such shows. As soon as he regains his motor skills, he turns towards the other direction, ready to exit the scene as unnoticed as he intruded. It is at this moment after the girl’s silent plea which Levi could not fully hear that Eren declares, audible enough to bleed into Levi’s ears as well:

 

“No, as I said, I’m not gay…”

 

In a split second, pure shock restrains him and he cannot think or function, losing one last hope he had, sealing the miserable demise of his infantile crush… he trips. He trips on thin air and falls down—very ungracefully and with a lot of noise. As his face is flush against the damp, grass covered soil, he prays to gods to turn him into a turd or something. It does not work. Eren’s agitated voice is heard instead.

 

“Levi! Fuck! Are you okay?”

 

No, he is not okay. In fact, he is the opposite of okay. If possible, he would like to at least stay as he is—lying on the ground on his belly, face down and covered in soil. In fact, if possible, he would like to bury his whole being into the ground—just become one with the Mother Nature and not have to face his first and only crush right after his heart has been broken into a million pieces by the said crush in the most natural, oblivious, and innocent way.

 

He cannot even blame Eren.

 

Eren did not ask for this unrequited mess of affection. Eren did not do anything wrong other than just being himself—and that is the hardest part of all this, to have nothing to be angry at, nothing to concentrate his frustration on. He blames on himself.

 

“Levi…” Eren holds him gently and pulls up and Levi relents.

 

“Oh My God!” Eren shrieks and the girl behind him gasps, Levi is unsure what’s the deal as he tries to rub away the bits of soil on his eyelashes, half sitting on the ground, half being hugged by Eren and the proximity, for the first time, not giving him the good kind of palpitations.

 

Eren leans in and brushes away a part of Levi’s bangs near his temple and the small gesture causes a sizzling sensation; not simply in terms of the emotional torture chamber Levi is in but quite literally. This is also when Levi recognises how that particular part of his skull is throbbing. Eren scrutinises the area with his fingertips and Levi lets out a low groan.

 

“Shit… it’s—it’s a cut. From a stone or something? Doesn’t look deep though. Pretty small too.”

 

“Oh fuck me sideways.” Levi gripes causing a very prominent blush on Eren’s cheeks and another gasp from the girl. The sight of Eren’s blush is too beautiful and it makes him a bit dizzy—their faces are too close too and he just hit his head. It’s the worst combination for a perfect headache and daze. He closes his eyes to focus.

 

“Will it need stitches?”

 

“Not really… some butterfly strips should be good.”

 

“Great…” Levi intones, unamused, and indifferent. He is no stranger to injuries and the way Eren is holding him like a precious, fragile piece of art is blurring his convictions and acuity. He would love to be embraced like this—he has dreamt of being embraced like this… just not being covered in half-muddy wet soil and bits of grass and right after learning that Eren does not actually bat for the same team as Levi does.

 

The sweet irony, the sweet sweet poisonous irony; he wants to scream, he wants to laugh, he wants to cry, and his head is seriously aching. He moans with resentment but Eren seems to think it is because of the pain of his cut.

 

“Uh… I’ll take you to the nurse’s office.”

 

“Ms. Nanaba left early today…” the stranger behind him helpfully mentions. Levi should not feel bitter towards this girl; just as Eren is blameless, she is as well. But he cannot help feeling hostile.

 

“It’s okay, I’ll go over to the council room… Hanji should be able to patch me up.”

 

“No.”

 

Eren’s voice is so certain that both Levi and the girl are openly surprised.

 

“I’m taking you to the nurse’s office and I’ll patch you up.” He says it with such finality, and as if to further prove his point picks Levi up, swiftly but with care; the other two cannot even attempt to protest.

 

“I—I’ll talk with you later Jessica…” He whispers to the girl as he pulls all of Levi’s weight onto himself, one arm securely wrapped around Levi’s waist. Levi does not feel smug as they leave behind the pretty girl with a scowl behind, because now he knows that this ‘Jessica’ person has more chances with Eren than him, because now he knows that all the instances of doting banter between him and Eren were nothing more than platonic gestures and tokens of friendship. He values that friendship, he honestly does, but he has always craved for more. In any case, his graduation is near and his final exams even nearer. Soon he will be so drowned in studying and university anxiety that he will not have time to brood over his silly crush. He keeps thinking of these and purposely avoiding any glances at Eren or acknowledge how tight the other is holding him and how strong Eren’s arm is despite his lanky adolescent figure. He does not realise how the minutes passed until they are standing in front of the door of the healthcare room. The standard etiquette dictates that they knock first. Eren does not knock. He turns the knob with one hand and once unlocked, kicks it open. Levi smiles, amused despite his suffering.

 

Eren sits him down on one of the mattresses and as they were told there is nobody in the room, including Nanaba. Eren runs to the other side, rummaging through cabinets to find whatever items he deems necessary. A few minutes later, he drops various medical supplies onto the bed next to Levi, who has closed his eyes once again, leaning back on his arms, his palms securely holding onto the bed. He can hear Eren’s breathing and can feel the gaze over him; a day ago it would be exhilarating, now it is prickling. He barks a laugh he is sure will make Eren confused.

 

“You okay?”

 

No, he is most definitely not okay but he nods affirmatively anyway, “Yeah, yeah I’m fine…”

 

“Um, can you sit straight? I’ll clean your wound—“

 

“No need.”

 

“Huh?”

 

Levi opens his eyes and stares right into the bemused eyes set on him.

 

“I don’t need you patching me up. I’ll do it myself. Just go to your class.”

 

“We’re still in the break and it will be hard—it’s on your face.”

 

“There’s a mirror here and this is not the first time I’ve got a small cut Eren… for fuck’s sake, can’t you just learn to leave when people ask you to leave?”

 

Eren’s eyes widen and his lower lip trembles. Levi knows he has upset the sensitive boy but he cannot trust his abilities in mending his own heart so immediately after it being naively pulverised by this same boy who is looking at him with eyes full of hurt.

 

After a puzzling stare shared between the two of them, Eren sighs and turns away but only a step later, he turns back again and stands straight, shoulders tense and eyebrows drawn together. Levi recognises this look; it is how Eren looks right before every single confrontation. Dead set on whatever he has decided.

 

“I want to.”

 

“You want to what?”

 

“I want to help you. I want to bandage your injuries.”

 

Levi sighs, exasperated; this is like dealing with a child and truthfully, they are neither adults yet, nor are they children, and instead a bit of both so perhaps it is normal. It is debilitating, nevertheless.

 

“I don’t need help.”

 

“It is not about you needing it. I don’t need you to tend to my wounds either but you always do. Why would you not let me do the same?”

 

Levi opens his mouth to retort but cannot find any meaningful argument, short of declaring his cancerously overgrown crush.

 

“It’s different.” He manages to mutter, but he knows it is not very different.

 

“It is not,” Eren presses on and takes a step closer, “Levi, please, please let me?”

 

Levi is not sure if Eren is aware how irresistible he looks when he is pleading. It is such a rare appearance too; Eren is legendary for his defiance, he is not known to beg or beseech. But he is, here and now, pleading right in front of Levi, for Levi’s own well-being, and Levi realises refusing him, punishing or hurting this kid for what is essentially Levi’s own selfish and uncalled-for desire is simply too unfair. So he sighs again and resigns to his fate; at most it will take fifteen minutes, he could bear that much. He will do his best to.

 

“Fine…”

 

The way Eren beams at him is so elated that it is intolerable. Levi sits up and darts his gaze towards the bare naked pale green wall of the room, ninety-degrees opposite of Eren’s pretty little face. His ‘nurse’ does not seem unruffled with this evident nonchalance. The brunet soaks a sterile cotton pad with water first and cleans around the wound, removing bits of dirt and hardened stains of blood. He then washes some cotton swabs with water too and starts disinfecting the shallow cut itself. Once that’s done, he carefully cuts the adhesive strips into slightly smaller pieces. Before starting to put the strips he stares at Levi’s face a bit, which perturbs Levi and he is about to comment on it when Eren moves in closer and takes his head in his hands.

 

He cannot speak as Eren continues to stare at him and softly massages his jaw from both sides with his thumbs. Levi is not sure how long this continues, for him the time has simply stopped. He cannot comprehend anything but the intense gaze he is being targeted with and the Earth might have stopped its celestial motion, for all he knows. Then as abruptly as it began, the timeless moment comes to an end; Eren does not let his hands fully leave though. He moves one hand to grasp one corner of Levi’s forehead, where his wound is, and very gently brings the split flesh together. Levi winces and Eren gives a small frown.

 

“Does it hurt a lot?”

 

“Not really…”

 

“Okay, I’ll start bandaging now…” Eren announces as if it was not plain obvious. He cautiously puts the first strip and then two others, one to each side of the first. He continues like that and it is rather awkward for Levi. He has aided Eren like this a dozen times perhaps, but he has never been in the receiving end of this kind attention. It is calming and nice but the bitter reality is nagging in the back of his mind.

 

When Eren finally finishes, he takes a step back to regard his handiwork.

 

“So? Looks good?”

 

“Yeah. I hope it doesn’t leave any scars though.”

 

“Frankly, I don’t care…”

 

“Well, I guess you’d look beautiful anyway.” Eren blurts out honestly and immediately flushes.

 

Levi rolls his eyes in spite of the tumultuous waves crashing and whirling in his stomach.

 

“Now that I’m patched up, will you just let me be?”

 

Eren pouts a bit. “You really want to get rid of me so bad?”

 

“Don’t you have a girlfriend waiting for you?”

 

Eren looks befuddled. “Huh? Girlfriend? I don’t have a girlfriend.”

 

“Jessica?”

 

“Ah…” Eren scratches his head, his blush intensifying, “She’s just a friend…”

 

“It seems she wants to be more than just a friend.”

 

“Yeah, I guess…” Eren mumbles and then he peers, hesitantly, and his voice shakes a bit, “but I’m not really interested…”

 

It does not alleviate Levi’s mood; if not Jessica today, some Charlotte or Penny tomorrow. He shrugs and Eren gawks at him.

 

“Levi…”

 

“What?”

 

“I think you’re beautiful…” Eren restates, still ogling.

 

Levi is baffled. The first, he thought to be a mere blunder, but this iteration is making him rethink things and a stubborn part of him, so heartsick and tired already, refuses to focus. Silence stretches between them seemingly endlessly and ultimately it is Eren who gives up.

 

“Wow. I really suck at this.”

 

“At what?”

 

“Flirting.”

 

“What?”

 

A whole bucket of cold water has been poured down Levi’s head—that’s how he is feeling right in that moment. Eren nervously chuckles, the sound is not at all happy, more sardonic actually, and he scratches his head again which turns into him absentmindedly playing with his wayward locks.

 

“I mean… shit. I like you. Okay. I really like you. That’s why I’m not interested in her… or anyone. But you. Yeah, I’m interested in you. Does that make sense?”

 

Levi stares at him. Not just a whole bucket; buckets, it seems. Buckets and buckets of ice cold water is streaming and drenching him into a catatonic numb mess. He cannot process this.

 

“If—if it is uncomfortable for you, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to—“

 

“But you’re not gay.”

 

He has fantasised about this very moment so many times in the last few weeks but he has never thought his response to Eren’s frantic love confession would be that. He is sincerely confused though; he heard Eren admit that very clearly just moments ago and he cannot reconcile this new information with that. Could it be that Eren is in the closet? Perhaps he was keeping it a secret?

 

“Yeah?” Eren blinks.

 

“I don’t understand.” Levi blanks which makes Eren smile, shyly, and Levi wants to kiss those cherry-red cheeks and maybe nibble on them.

 

“I’m bi? I think so, at least. I’m more into boys though… maybe. I don’t know. Still… discovering, y’know.”

 

“Oh…” Levi has never thought of that possibility. Suddenly, he feels stupid. He feels so very stupid. Not just stupid, he feels awful; as if he has done something wrong. And he has done something wrong, his conscience reminds him. He shouldn’t have assumed…

 

“I’m not very experienced,” Eren admits, “I only had one girlfriend before… and that’s it. But I like boys too… I know and I really really like you.”

 

“Okay.” Levi nods, trying to grasp everything he has just been informed. It is dazzling. He should be happy and indeed a steady stream of euphoria starts rising within him.

 

“So?” Eren inquires, his lower lip trembles again and he gulps right after.

 

“I…” Levi starts but his throat hurts and his mouth is too dry, he pauses, gulps, and licks his lips which attracts Eren’s gaze to them, and the tiny affect gives him the boost of confidence he needed. “I like you too.”

 

The end-result of his revelation is a huge, surprised, giddy grin on Eren’s cute face and has catastrophic feedback to Levi’s heartbeat. His whole chest hurts and his heart seems to be determined to smash through his ribcage and fly into the void of space and fire of stars.

 

Eren kneels and scoots closer carefully, as if he is approaching a wild and wary animal. He grabs Levi’s two idle hands on the bed with each of his. Their fingers tangle and the violent uprising in Levi is slightly tamed, Eren’s grin also sinks to a lazy, content little smile.

 

“Good…” Eren murmurs and for the first time in his life, Levi feels too weak to continue looking at someone; he makes the mistake of lowering his gaze down to his side and thus see their intertwined fingers. He gasps. Eren takes this as an opportunity and raises their clasped hands and brings them together in Levi’s lap. Levi cannot help following the motion with his eyes and a second later, once both fists are right next to each other, Eren drops his head and gives a chaste peck to the each of them, his lips pressing on the fleshy base of Levi’s thumbs. Levi shudders and Eren moves back to stare at him again, keeping their hands as they are on Levi’s lap.

 

“Good…” Levi admits too then and when that single word makes Eren’s delightful smile larger, he smiles too.

 


	3. thunderous skies and souls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He is a mess. He is almost 18 and he has never kissed anyone and he does not know how to kiss Eren but he wants to kiss Eren—he so wants to kiss Eren that his own fingertips crawl over to his own lips and his heart beats like a drum, merely at the idea of it…
> 
> It is ridiculous. And he is ridiculously in love, he realises, painfully."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write this prompt: "[Punks can get scared of thunder storms to.](http://toxixpumpkin.tumblr.com/post/109308642514/good-kid-troublemaker-aus)" But since I kept imagining that it would be Levi who would be afraid of thunderstorms, Levi the ex-punk now-prefect took the spot again. 
> 
> Fair warning: sticky sweet schmoop and pining teenager Levi ahead.

 

At almost eighteen and only a couple of months away from starting the next stage of his life as a university student, Levi Ackerman has a problem.

 

It manifests itself as an endless pining; physically, he can feel his palms itch and sweat, his pulse skyrockets, and his eyes tend to linger. It is bothersome, realising abruptly how he has been staring at Eren’s lips for more than a good few seconds. Eren, luckily, as much as attentive and sensitive he is, can also be awfully oblivious as long as his attention is focused elsewhere.

 

It becomes the bane of Levi’s quite young existence.

 

The few hours he can sleep at night are full of vivid dreams, of Eren’s skin and eyes, of his smile and giggles; Eren touches him, playfully and gently, sometimes with a bit of force, he always beams though and it is always pleasurable—and unfortunately these are only dreams. He wakes up to find himself dishevelled and sometimes in a ‘particular’ kind of a mess; it is embarrassing, he thinks he should be over this, he is almost an adult. He has never had too much of a libido before, but Eren wakes that up in him too, it seems; just as his heart seems to have grown wings and constantly tries to fly up into the sky, certain other parts of his anatomy are also overexcited thanks to his boyfriend.

 

“ _Boyfriend._ ”

 

He likes that word more than he should. It is probably silly. But it is also literally the first time he has ever had a partner. And Eren is a loving boyfriend—so very loving and now that Levi can examine him more closely, he can decipher the subtle tells of that love. The way Eren stares at him, enchanted and with the stupidest grins or the sweetest little smiles. The way Eren licks his lips whenever Levi is rubbing balm over his own chapped ones. The way Eren will sneak his hand into Levi’s and sometimes, absentmindedly draw small circles with his thumb. Those little circles turn into whirlpools of sensation on Levi’s skin; burning ungodly holes that ache so, so sweetly…

 

He has a boyfriend and the life is great.

 

Except that it is not.

 

He wants to hold Eren’s hand too—and tried a few times, but either Eren moved his hand away without realising Levi’s stuttering initiative or someone else caught the sight of it before he could succeed and he felt too self-conscious to continue. It is stupid. He should just yank Eren’s hand—but he already does that whenever he is dragging Eren to infirmary or to have lunch. And it is nice too. But it is not per se hand-holding. If possible, he would like to go beyond hand-holding too. Much more, in fact, going by the kind of dreams that haunt him. But before all that, he has to make the first move. Be the first one to entangle their fingers together. Or be the first one to lean in to kiss. Then it could come, eventually, and he would be happy with that; he does not wish to rush things but the way they are now is simply unbearably slow.

 

How though? How could he make that first move—he racks his brain to no avail and even the internet is not helpful. The answers he gets from the great trashcan of information range from very aggressive “just pounce on them” sort to “it will happen naturally, let it be” indifference. Levi could never attack Eren like that, or to anyone for that matter; he thinks, a kiss should be kind and of mutual desire, not of careless and selfish urge. He hates the ambiguous appeals to “nature” as well; how is it supposed to happen so “naturally”? Will they grow extra limbs that will incline towards each other and mingle? Bullocks.

 

Thus, he stares at Eren’s lips a bit too long, and he daydreams, and he night dreams too.

 

If Kenny is at home and awake in the morning before Levi leaves for the school, which is thankfully very rare, he will make a teasing comment or two. “Girlfriend,” he keeps on nagging, “you got a girlfriend?” It is mostly because they are both aware that Levi normally takes his showers at night; maybe he should switch to morning showers just to prevent this humiliating round of small talk. He thwarts Kenny’s questions and if pushed too far, admits that he does not have a girlfriend. It is not a lie. Technically, Eren is his ‘boyfriend’—the word, even simply in thought, gives him a fuzzy feeling—and he does not have a girlfriend. He does not reveal that bit to Kenny though; his wicked uncle once recounted a story about how he had punched and kicked a guy for politely hitting on him. The story along with the casual slurs the older man uses warrant wary from Levi. It is okay, he thinks; he is almost out of Kenny’s hair and vice versa. Once he is officially 18 and a university student, he won’t have to depend on his uncle. It will be tough, he knows, but he can endure hardship, he has in the past; poverty is not new to him, wealth surely was, he supposes he won’t miss it too much.

 

The idea of future these days though inevitably brings Eren to his mind too. It is circular these days actually; he starts pondering because of Eren and his mind wavers to a thousand different things before it returns to Eren again.

 

He will be moving to another city for university. It will be good for him, he specifically chose this university after serious deliberation, but now it will also mean being away from Eren. It takes only an hour by train, he consoles himself; but is it fair? Is it fair to ask Eren to continue loving him and seeing him when he cannot actually see him so easily? “Is it fair” sometimes turns into “is it possible” in his brooding; because Eren is beautiful; body and soul. There will be more ‘Jessica’s or ‘Joe’s who will want him. He has just become 16; a crush is what theirs, Levi recognises wistfully, what most adults would call “only a childhood crush”. Both would reject being children but Levi knows that they are not adults either. It is despairing, at times; what if Eren becomes simply disinterested or rather interested in someone else? He couldn’t blame; things happen, heart is a fickle thing, there are no guarantees. The idea hurts him though. He would never be a shackle for Eren—he has never been for anyone, would never want to be for anyone, but wonders if that is exactly what he is doing by dating someone whom he will have to leave in a physical sense so soon.

 

It doesn’t help that his brain automatically points out that they haven’t even kissed yet.

 

He is a mess. He is almost 18 and he has never kissed anyone and he does not know how to kiss Eren but he wants to kiss Eren—he so wants to kiss Eren that his own fingertips crawl over to his own lips and his heart beats like a drum, merely at the idea of it…

 

It is ridiculous. And he is ridiculously in love, he realises, painfully.

 

It gets worse.

 

“Y’know,” Eren starts one day when they are having lunch together in the student council room during the afternoon break because Eren had to rush his homework during the actual lunch break and Levi did not want to have his lunch alone, “I know I’m inexperienced but…”

 

Levi’s appetite sinks but he focuses on evenly cutting the chicken breast still, not looking up at Eren.

 

“We don’t have to go so slow for just me…” Eren blurts out then. It is horrifying; Levi defocuses and refocuses his eyes on his food to calm his nerves and asks, superficially nonchalantly; “At what?”

 

Eren gawks at him and gapes and then scratches his head. “Kissing and stuff.”

 

Right to the point. Eren Jaeger, as always—and Levi normally adores this about Eren and he is himself just as brutally blunt… but not in this particular topic. Deep down, he knows why too; he feels vulnerable. He hates feeling vulnerable; anyone who has ever tasted the life in the streets does. It is not only discomfort for him; it is a truly terrifying condition instead. Because being vulnerable could mean so much injury, not just of heart but of flesh and mind and Levi knows, he dearly knows this, has seen it at an age too young, too early.

 

With Eren, he should be able to let it go—he knows this too. Eren surely does expose himself to Levi and it is the most gratifying, affirming love letter. Yet it is hard to bring himself do it. In the great pile of things complicating the matter, there is also the fact that while Eren might be only inexperienced in a romantic sense, Levi is much more inexperienced in love in general, that is love of any kind and not just romantic.

 

“Okay…” Levi apathetically agrees, as he stuffs spaghetti into his mouth, mostly to not have to speak further on the subject. Perhaps he can convince Eren that he is starving this particular day and hence more interested in food. It wouldn’t exactly be a lie because waiting extra three hours did cause pangs in his stomach earlier. He can see from his peripheral that his boyfriend is bemused, gaping again only to eventually sigh and resume his eating too.

 

He thinks about it the whole day. The whole night—he cannot sleep a wink. What if he loses Eren because of this? He admonishes himself for such speculation; surely, Eren is not the type who would be over him because of such a reason. But what if his reluctance causes Eren to feel undesired? What if Eren is crestfallen or starts doubting himself? Levi couldn’t bear that.

 

When the dawn comes, Levi has barely slept three hours in total, but he is finally resolute. He will kiss Eren and he will do it this very day.

 

He ends up carefully avoiding Eren in the morning and taking a nap instead of the self-study session in the morning. By noon, his confidence is restored and he tries to devise up a plan. Unfortunately, he has never been talented at strategizing. He is perfect at leaping to action and pulling through though. He reminds himself this and discards the idea of a complicated plan. He will ask Eren to walk home with him after school and at the corner where they usually go their separate ways whenever they walk together, Levi will lean and kiss. It is simple and foolproof. He spends most of his afternoon concentrating on motivating himself. He will do this. He will make this happen.

 

He makes a stop at Eren’s class before his last lesson of the day starts and asks him to wait at the entrance so that they can walk back together. Eren smiles and nods as Levi pets his hair into semblance of an order—a habit he has picked up weeks ago.

 

He can do this, Levi confirms once more; in fact, he barely keeps himself in check from not trying it there in the hallway right next to the classroom door. The fear, lack of sleep, and zeal have all mixed in to form a potent elixir of courage that runs through his veins.

 

He can do this. Only forty more minutes of school and he will do this.

 

“Levi,” Erwin stops him before he can enter his own classroom, “please don’t be late to the meeting again.”

 

“What?” He freezes.

 

“The Council Meeting?”

 

“I can’t—“

 

“You reported three incidents in the last two weeks and we will go over them, you have to come.”

 

“For fuck’s sake Erwin, I’m sure you’re fully capable of—“

 

“Weren’t you going on and on about how that library case wasn’t Eren’s fault and Nile was being a snobby elite bastard for blaming Eren?”

 

“Shit. Processing of it is this week…?”

 

“Of course. One would assume you would remember the procedure by now.”

 

“Fuck. Fuck… Oh fuck.”

 

“That’s eloquent of you; what’s up, you had plans?”

 

“That’s what I’m wondering too…” Mr. Zackly notes from inside the classroom, causing Erwin to beam one of his ‘charming’ fake smiles that Levi dislikes.

 

“Sorry for disturbing your class Mr. Zackly, I didn’t mean to. I was only synching-up about a council issue before our meeting. Sorry again, Levi, go ahead and we’ll talk later.”

 

Levi huffs as he enters the classroom and shuts the door behind him. Zackly gives him a dirty look which he ignores blatantly. The courage he was filled with moments ago has now turned into cold hard frustration.

 

He bolts out of the classroom as soon as the bell chimes. He rushes downstairs to Eren’s classroom, thankfully the teacher has just left and the students are taking off too. He signs to Eren who hurries, his messenger bag swinging on one arm and he has the cutest smile. Levi feels incredibly angry at himself for yet once again disappointing Eren.

 

“Sorry, shit, I got a council thing this afternoon… Don’t wait for me okay. Stay safe.”

 

“Oh, okay…” Eren responds, trying not to appear so downtrodden. Levi curses himself internally and swears that he will make it up to Eren, somehow.

 

The meeting is intolerable. It does not help that all Levi can think about is the way the upturn of Eren’s lips fell down when he learnt they wouldn’t be walking home together. They won’t be kissing either; his stubborn self is infuriated at the reminder. They will kiss, just not that day, he consoles himself. Some other day, they will. The next day actually; yes, Levi will wait for Eren at the corner in the morning and they can walk to school together and Levi can yank Eren’s hand into his, just not to drag him away from a fight this time but rather to wrap their fingers for both their pleasure and satisfaction. He can kiss Eren then, near that bigass tree with beautiful blossoms—it is disgustingly mushy, but he cannot help fantasising of such things. He is daydreaming so shamelessly and nonchalantly that he almost misses when Eren’s case from the week before is brought to review. Fortunately, his ears are now fine-tuned to his boyfriend’s name; once the word “Eren” is uttered, his attention is immediately drawn. He makes several remarks, which is several too many than his regular involvement in these discussions, and while his comments are crude and contain toilet humour at times, they still make sense and with Erwin’s charismatic grin and rhetorical superiority, they are able to clear Eren from any disciplinary action.

 

This makes him feel better. Surely, he would have loved kissing Eren by now, but clearing the unruly brunet’s name is equally important. If only everyone could see Eren as Levi sees him. Thankfully, their school’s number one delinquent fights less and less these days; Levi only hopes that they will be near to none one day. Will he live long enough to see that day? Who knows.

 

When the meeting ends, his inner turmoil is calmer but mind is numb and muscles are sore from fatigue and too many bouts of anxiety in the last two days. After an obligatory stop at the loo, he is getting ready, busy stuffing all the half solved past exam papers into his backpack when he hears it.

 

He stops.

 

Not only the movement of his limb or fingers; his whole being stops. His heart must still be beating, for he is alive, but it is as if even his heart has stopped too—he cannot feel anything for a second, a frightening silence overcomes him, laden with disquiet. Then, suddenly, another thunder strikes and he can feel everything, all at once. It is too much. His hands shake and he grips the fancy sofa before him tightly, slowly crawling onto it. Another grumbling of the heavens and he closes his eyes. This is irrational, he knows.

 

Knowing that it is irrational never helps though. He grasps his bag sitting next to him and hugs it tight to himself as he moves his legs up too, angling at the knees and pulling close. He starts counting softly and trying his best to focus on his breathing. “ _There is no reason to be afraid,_ ” he repeats to himself in his mind. He tries to remember his mother, how she held him to herself when he was a child and it was only the two of them in that rathole of a basement-apartment. Whenever a thunderstorm appeared and he was scared, how she would comfort him. Never once mocking. Never once dismissing his fear.

 

The idea of ‘mocking’ brings other memories, less pleasant ones, and he slaps them away, at least attempts to.

 

“Levi?”

 

His eyes open in shock and his distress is doubled when another thunderclap roars; he cannot help jumping a little in his seat and obviously Eren witnesses it.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“What are _you_ doing here? I’ve been waiting for you at the lobby…”

 

“I told you to not wait for me.”

 

“But I wanted to wait for you… Is everything alright?” Eren is cautious. He pads closer but not too close, there is still some distance between them. Levi counts to five again and breaths—in and out—before answering.

 

“Everything is alright. You can… go.”

 

“Levi…” Eren pleads, concern is plastered all over his face and Levi wants to kiss it away, because he never meant to cause worry. But he cannot—especially not now when he is a trembling mess of anxiety.

 

Another thunder and Levi loudly whispers “fuck” as he squeezes his eyes shut and buries his face on his bag. He would never want Eren to see him like this. He is not six anymore; he is an adult and adults should not be afraid of—

 

“Levi, hey,” he feels a gentle touch on his shoulder and the voice that accompanies is just as gentle, “please, look at me?”

 

He repeats soundlessly: one, two, three, four, five—each a second apart. Breathes in and out. He peers from the side, half of his face still hidden, and finds his boyfriend sitting near him. Eren’s soft caress slides up from his shoulder to his neck to his nape and then to his scalp. Careful fingers comb through his hair. They don’t say anything; Eren only stares at him, his fingertips gingerly pressing and gliding on Levi’s scalp. When another burst of noise shatters through their silence and Levi closes his eyes once again, he can feel Eren hovering over him; the body heat that often turns Levi feverish now provides the most genial comfort. Eren’s hand travels towards the side of his face and his thumb traces from Levi’s temple to his jaw before holding on.

 

“Levi…” he whispers and despite the liquid fear convoluting his perception and stirring his stomach, Levi manages to open his eye. Eren has the smallest, kindest smile tugging on his lips. “It’s okay,” he murmurs, “you’re safe…”

 

He knew he was safe; he never doubted it. He knew the panic that swallowed his insides and nibbled on his soul was nonsensical and surreal; he was certain. Yet, hearing Eren say it, somehow adds magic to its meaning and purpose; the words uttered turn into a spell of serenity. He can still feel anxiety simmering in his belly and nerves a tangled web of knots; but it helps to hear those words. It helps that Eren is smiling. It helps that Eren is not mocking him or demanding answers or stating what is already known—that “there is nothing to be afraid of” or that “it’s irrational”.

 

Sky groans with fury and Levi’s whole body tenses. Eren promptly pulls Levi to himself, wrapping arms around his shaking frame and squeezing him; for once, Levi is glad that he is smaller in figure than Eren; he is glad how Eren can cover all over him so easily. The embrace blesses a sense of security onto him and it is similar to what he felt as a kid with his mum, even though it is not the same; in any case, it has been a long time since he last felt secure with anyone. “Levi…” Eren mumbles and presses tender pecks onto his hair, “Levi,” he repeats, breath hitching and Levi wonders why—but not for too long; “Levi,” Eren repeats again, voice even smaller than before, hardly audible, “I love you…”

 

Levi does not answer. He cannot answer. Another thunder rattles the air and Levi quivers in tandem, in Eren’s arms, in Eren’s grasp, in Eren’s warmth— “I’m here,” Eren whispers right next to his ear, the hot breath caressing the sensitive flesh and Levi gasps, and then gasps again when Eren brushes a kiss to the curve of his ear.

 

“E—Eren…” he pants and his boyfriend’s grip tightens around him in response. When the next thunder comes, Levi moves his face from his bag onto the crook of Eren’s neck. He inhales the scent—mint and musk, so light, only a teasing whiff. Warm, tender kisses continue pouring from Eren’s clumsy lips onto all over his head, the sound of an enthusiastic but even breath the chant of a sacred peace… “Shh…” Eren hums in between, “I’m here,” he repeats again and again, “and you’re safe,” he assures in an almost melodic voice. Perhaps it is a secret song that only Eren knew how to sing and works to dispel worries; Levi feels better and better as the minutes pass, even if he clutches firmly on Eren and digs his nails, carving needy marks of desire for more compassion, for more comfort. He never would have thought his first legacy on Eren’s skin would be of fervour of this kind, but the want within him is insatiable and urgent. He wants to be sheltered, even though there is no actual threat, he needs it and Eren grants, naturally, generously, no strings attached, no questions asked; “I’m here,” he sighs again and again and avows, “I love you…”

 

Lev is not sure how long they stay there like that. He does not even realise when the thunderstorm is over, becoming aware only when Eren murmurs, “It’s over now huh?”

 

As the slime of dread slowly fades into nothingness, the situation he is in starts dawning on him. One part of him would like to never return to the mundane reality and be suspended in this exceptional relief and lull. Another part of him is slowly freaking out over the fact that he just lost it due to a thunderstorm of all things and Eren saw it and even comforted him through it. It is painfully sweet; as if there is a dagger that stabs through his chest every time his heart beats yet the wound only sizzles with pleasure. It is morbid and a bit terrifying and a bit mesmerising.

 

He sighs with resolve. He could not have been more vulnerable than he was moments ago and Eren accepted him. He is ready.

 

“Hey…” he says because he is not sure how to start to these kinds of things. It should be fine though. Even if he stumbled and made a mistake, Eren would only hold him closer and smile. When Eren’s eyes are on his face, their bodies only slightly apart now so that they can consider each other more clearly, Levi continues, enunciating; “I love you too.”

 

Eren blinks. Then blinks again. Then blinks again. As confusion creeps over Levi, it seems, tears creep over Eren’s eyes.

 

“Eren?”

 

“Ah…” Eren lifts a hand to frantically rub the heel over his eyes one by one, sniffing all the while. He chuckles and gulps in between chuckles, “I just—I’m just so happy.”

 

It is as if all the bits of feelings he developed over the course of last few months for this boy find their way back into his heart. It is as if, suddenly, he is filled up to the brim with affection and it is violently shifting and pushing from under his skin. It is as if, suddenly, he falls from a cliff into an ocean and his lungs fill with water, his whole body damp and there is water everywhere only that there is no water and it is solely his passion for this boy who is holding him haphazardly and half-crying out of some words of love he himself gave so willingly moments ago…

 

It is as if Levi’s heart has imploded on itself and there is only chaos inside his body.

 

Still, amidst the haze of emotional deluge, he manages to comprehend; Eren is so touched because he did not expect to hear those words back. This comprehension pulls him from himself, rips his overwhelmed heart from his body and his yearning burns fiercely, wildly. He shifts and brings his own arms around Eren’s neck and yanks him closer, stares at Eren’s wet eyes—his wet, beautiful, enchanting eyes and Levi is awestruck but the craving tingling his lips is not; he presses them onto Eren’s.

 

He does not know how to kiss.

 

He does not know how to kiss and he has never actually kissed anybody. But at that moment he cannot even think about such matters of technicality; he presses his lips, again and again, certainly clumsily, certainly flawed, certainly unskilled. But it does not matter; it does not matter when all he can hear is the hush of his own blood running in his veins and the tiny whimpers Eren gives. It does not matter when affection is blooming in his bones and peace is filling in his lungs. It does not matter when every touch of their lips, every tiny lick, every ghost of teeth burrows into the core of his being and he is light—as light as a feather and ready to be blown away—and heavy—as heavy as a ton of steel, crushing the ground beneath him.

 

Only when he is out of breath, he pulls away and puffs from Eren’s parted lips dance over Levi’s own swollen lips, capricious and affirming. He holds Eren’s head in his hands and brings their faces to touch once more but only on their foreheads.

 

“Thank you…” He whispers after closing his eyes and letting his heart fall in harmony with Eren’s panting.

 

" _Thank you._ "

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how was it? Comments are a treat to muses. :3
> 
> Also to note: anxiety will not be cured by love or someone's care, but if you have someone tenderly attending to your needs and providing calm to you in the manner you need it, especially during an episode, it can be helpful even if not fully restoring. I don't think this needs saying but wanted to underline it since I suffer from anxiety and various phobia.


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